There seems to be such a fine line around what we are willing to declare and what we feel we need to keep to ourselves. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now.
On Nov. 11th 2014 I gave up dieting for good.
On Nov. 21st, 2014, (my 52nd birthday,) I threw my scale away and all the clothing that was 2 sizes to small.
I made a vow to honor my body for what and where she was and BAM I never looked back.
After countless years of starving myself -then binging- then starving-then binging again my body had NO idea what was going on. It was the fear of the unknown. To say I was terrified is an understatement.
I was VERY disconnected to her ( my body). But as my compassion grew for my amazing, wise, body she started to trust me and I started to love her more and more. And well, the rest is history as I have shared many times with you in the past.
What I haven’t shared with you is this.
This is raw. This is real.
To offer another incredibly valuable tool to my clients that helped me in my life I enrolled in an “energy clearing” training around why we hold on to weight. Now I have to be honest… I went in thinking, after ALL my training nothing this teacher could possibly say will be new to me.
Within the first 10 minutes I was brought to tears.
You see, for the first time I really saw how incredibly loyal I was being to my body, loving her, making sure I moved my body in a way that felt good, choosing nourishing foods, and all the while feeling A-okay. But I also was feeling like something was missing…
So a little history.
When I gave up dieting I wanted to allow my body to balance and love her wherever she landed, wherever she was BECAUSE I didn’t want to be one of those ”BS” coaches or public figures saying, “Oh it’s easy to love your larger self” while being on a smoothie cleanse. or swallowing appetite suppressants to be tiny.
Following me? We’ve all seen them. Do what I say but NOT what I do.
What I wanted was to show up authentically saying, “Beautiful women, this is possible! Trust me!”
So in one year my body gained back all the weight she had lost from being deprived for YEARS (I don’t know how much weight) but I will say this for a visual.. I am 5’11” and wore a 14 (on the tight side) Loose 16.
And let me tell you I learned to frickin love my body. I got to the point of feeling comfortable being naked, going to the beach, wearing sexy clothing, feeling beautiful!
So back to the energy healing call.
There I was sobbing and suddenly I heard my body saying, It’s okay, I know you’re loyal to me.
All the sudden I felt incredibly dizzy and could see through my ego and hear my amazing body (Fiona) saying, “Hey, I know you love me, so let’s release this weight, I am ready to feel even lighter now!”
I’ll be honest with you, this threw me for a little loop… My mind went in over the place.
What does this mean?
What do I really stand for?
What about loving myself now? Am I saying I’m actually NOT okay?
Then as my energy teacher teaches I said, “Okay mind.. time to go somewhere far, far away…and DELETE.”
And right then I could see that YES I can love myself at any size, at any number. I could look deep into what holding on to a tight 14 ( loose 16 ) was doing for me and why releasing ANY weight felt incredibly dis-loyal because of this incredible journey I had been though with my body.
Then once again, I remembered what I heard ( and felt) my body say, “It’s okay, I know you love me now, and I feel safe. And, Alison, I want to feel lighter”
It took about a while for me to re-adjust to this idea. I am such a self-love advocate that I thought (on a sub-conscious level) that I could only state my passion from a “see I love myself large so stop judging me and my fellow women.”
However I learned that that passion is not a size either. It is so deep within my soul it is there no matter what size I am. I have my beliefs and they will never change.
I am releasing the heaviness that my body simply doesn’t want or chooses to have anymore. Through love, compassion and in true partnership with myself.
Now what I will tell you is we will be on this journey together because I love and believe in you as well!
I woke up today and my size 14 was comfortable, not tight, maybe even a little loose but MOST importantly my body feels good. She feels alive and is thriving.
No what’s truly amazing is this happened from just clearing the energy AROUND those beliefs. I didn’t go on some crash diet. I didn’t stop eating. I didn’t do anything different in my daily routine. I just ate what my body wanted, did pilates, and walked.( I even had my nightly wine time!) But this energy clearing allowed me to delete so much and now I can help you do the same. (win win!)
To find out how this can help you bust through your blocks and to book a session with me, follow this link! (I’m offering an incredible grand opening price just for you!)
I want to tell you I am here for YOU. I get it and I am grateful to have you here with me on this journey. I am also immensely grateful knowing that it’s safe for me to be transparent!
Lots and Lots of love!
PS. Be sure to check i here next week, I have another VERY exciting announcement!